A glimpse into my world

My goodness has it been a while since I put thought into a good journal entry for this site. Myspace has gotten all the good entries out of me, but I feel like adding to this one. I was reading over some of my old entries and I have noticed soemthing about myself.. I have changed so much.

It may be weird when I say this but it filled me with disgust when I read the entries I wrote about Chris.. I was so "in love"... yeah right. what i was feeling was NOT love.

I was just naive.

Very




Well now things are different. I've been married for 6 months now and couldn't be happier. Lawrence and I got married in June and then again in October haha. We are now living in Maryland and are happy. They say the hardest year of marriage is the first and I say it is true. We have fought so much, but we are strong and have made it through every single one of them.

Okay, thats it.
I'm gone

Ashlee

Goodbye, exciting world of livejournal!

I'm deleteling this journal once and for all..

So I guess I will keep this journal. But I will say that my updates will probably become few and far between-- If at all. I just don't have the motivation to write right now. When I do have the motivation to write, I usually end up making it an entry on my myspace page.

But its good to know that someone out there still actually reads this stuff..

I know Lawrence does... but its good to know someone on my friends list does as well :)

If I do decide to delete this journal. I will miss you all.. but you can find my writing on myspace!

www.myspace.com/ash16cutie.

I'm debating on whether or not I should delete this journal....

Convience me not to, or else!

I haven't updated this journal in quite a while... I feel I have neglected it to a sense. Ever since I have signed on to myspace I have been addicted to it, and thats really sad..

My life is pretty great right now.
I'm engaged to the most wonderful guy in the whole world. He makes me happier than any guy could possibly ever. I can't wait to say my vows to him and confess my love to him in front of my family....

I've been thinking a lot about this.. and I realize that I want nothing more than to be with Lawrence right now. I want to fall asleep next to him every night and wake up next to him every morning. It will feel so great when I'm able to do that.

Okay.. this update is short... but I really have nothing else going on...... I'm just gonna sit here until Lawrence comes back.. talk to him for a little while, and then probably gonna crash..

See ya later.....

I'm Out!

_the future_ Mrs. Barresi.

Whats your biggest regret ? I regret nothing.. i've learned from my mistakes, so i don't regret it.

What is your biggest fear ? losing someone i love and never being able to get them back.

Have you ever dated someone and regretted it? actually yes.. kinda

Anybody you would go back and date again if you could? Nope. .My ex's are idiots....

Name 3 people you cant live without ? [1] : Lawrence [2] my mom [3]my sister

Name a song you listen to when your upset/angry/sad? i listen to eminem when i'm angry... and this one song by kelly clarkson when i'm upset..

Describe what you would do if it was the last day you..'d be alive? spend it with the people i love............

If you could go back in time and change one thing, would would it be? to be so dumb in my last relationship........ i put up with so much crap ....

Do you have any deep secrets? not really

How many? not appliciable. haha

Tell me one of your favorite memories ? Meeting Lawrence

Another one? Psh.. What you ain't cute?

One more.. meeting rascal flatts and hearing them sing...

Tell me one of your worst memories? losing my grandfather

Another one? losing my best friend brian

one more ? chris

Is there anyone you would die for? yeah

Who? my family. my best friend, and lawrence

Do you think people know a lot about you? If i get to the point where i will actually talk to em, yes

Do you block out things that bother you? for a while, but then it eats at me.. and i have to voice them

What was your child hood like? great

Do you tak about your past painful experiences? just one

Or do you keep them a secret? my family, my best friends, and my Lawrence knows about them.. thats all that needs to know

Do you talk about them when other people are talking about theirs? I talk about it with Lawrence every now and then, but we try not to tlak about negative things

Do you drink/smoke to chase away pain? no

Who is somebody who can always put a smile on your face ? Lawrence or Helena

Someone who made a huge impact on your life? Rebecca

Someone who made you miserable? chris

Use this space to say somethign to someone special (you don't have to say their name) I love you Lawrence

Do you think you should change some of your qualities? some of them wouldn't hurt

Are you in love? very much so.. NO MATTER what people say

Well. I haven't updated this journal in a while... Myspace is getting the best of me, even my blog entries.

So I am here to make a quick update

-I started UWF on Jan 9th and everything seems to be going good so far
-Lawrence left on Jan 8th and I miss him already
-Lawrence asked me to marry him, and I said yes!!!!!!!!!!

okay, nothing else is worth writing about.

I have some very important decisions to make in my life right now, and they have all came about since Lawrence has been home.

I have no doubt in my mind now that I want to be with him. Now I just have to decide how I can go about doing that.

There are two options..... one sounds better than the other, so its probably wants gonna happen.

After he leaves California, sometime after June.... he will be going to Texas. I could either move there to be with him... even though he is now only planning to be there about 3 months....

Or I could go whereever he goes after that, he said most likely Augusta Georgia. I've already looked into a college there in Augusta and the one I have seen has a good Graduate Program in Psychology. I think I like the idea of being with him in Georgia.. and going to graduate school.

Maybe moving to be with him could be the first step of being with him forever.. =)

I love him so much.
And I don't want to say goodbye this time..

But If I have anything to do with it.. it won't be for long... at all.

These last few days have been amazing.

Lawrence is in town now, and I couldn't be happier! I thought he'd never make it here and now that he's here, I cherish every moment we get to spend together.

We've been spending a lot of time together since he's got in on Friday. I actually get more time with him then I thought I would. But.. of course. I'm not complaining. I love being with him.

I told him last night that I have this weird feeling since he's been here. Now that he's here and we are together... I don't want him to leave. There's a strong urge inside of me that tells me to drop everything here and go to California to be with him forever. After this trip, I know that I want to be with him. I wish it was as easy as I say it is to drop everything here and go with him. Only if things weren't holding me back here. But as soon as I get things worked out here.... I will be with him. If he still wants to be with me forever....

I love him more than words can say, and I cherish every moment that I am in his arms.

Pictures to come... eventually...

I get to see my baby on Friday. I'm so excited. Its gonna feel so good to be with him again. To get my hugs :)

I have been extremely busy all week, and this week is going by slower than any other week. I have been scheduled to work 39 hours this week at work, and it goes by so slow... this is my first day off since last friday. I pulled a 3-12am shift on sunday and I have another one tomorrow... then I get to see my baby at approx 6:20pm on Friday.. I can't believe its finally here. We'll be together again. :-D

Anyway. Just felt like writing a little bit, but all thats been going on is work... lots of it. I'll post more picture in a few weeks-- pictures from when Lawrence comes home--- because he WILL take pictures with me :-P

anyway.

Merry Christmas, everyone.